Zippin’ on chamomile tea.. Contemplating life.

My shift starts within the hour and stretches itself through the whole dark night. I’ll go to sleep when the stars decides to vanish in favour of the next day. I’ve always liked the feeling of working on the night. Well, as long as you keep the all the senses active, it can really be a thrill. It always brings me back to night dives in my early diving career. Or scenes under the green nightsky, where the stars doubles in numbers, in the far beginning of my green service. Everyone of them is, in the end, romanticized and partially made up to glorify and activate some illuminate feeling of awesomeness in my life. Even though they’re all grounded and created through empiricism, they tend to maximize and gloat themselves in my mind – just to ensure myself i’m still on the way to some sort of self-made utopia.

I feel twitched. Or twisted maybe. Or maybe it’s just the stress that doing it.. In any case, it’s quite oblivious. Or tends to lean on that way. I  don’t always like it. More often though, I do not really care, and that frightens me more than anything else.

Do you trust yourself?

I really hope you do. There isn’t enough time for the contrary.