Summer is coming.

It is time to go back home.

CrossFit, as it is called, has become a major popular thing to do in modern day sports. It’s said to be derived from military US Navy Seals training and alike. In any case, it can be summed up to and be explained as constantly varied, high intensity, functional movements. Each training program lasting for about 20-40 minutes tops. It’s a damn thrill if you do it for real with another partner. You’ll be breaking your own made-up physical and psychological limits in no-time.

Enough said.

I got a short story to tell. This is about a man who was known as Leuitenant Michael P. Murphy, usually nicknamed ‘Murph’.

He was a Navy SEAL Officer who served in the War in Afghanistan. He was sent on several different missions within the country against terrorists and Taliban leaders. During 2005, he and his SEAL team (consisting of four people, total) participated in what was called Operation Red Wings. During this operation, his team was assigned for surveillance and reconnaissance tasks in the mountains in the Kunar Province. There, a taliban group known as the “Mountain Tigers”, let by Ahmad Shah had taken residence to conduct illegal activities and plan terrorism. It was said that Osama Bin Laden also held a refuge there from time to time.

The mission was, in the end, a complete failure.

 Upon their arrival, a local goatherder stumbled upon their hideout. Knowing the risks, they debated wether to actually kill him should he alert the taliban of their presence. They voted within the group and the majority voted to let him go, taking the risk. A risk that had fatal consequences. Within the next hour, Murphy and his team were completely surrounded by over 150 insurgents. A fierce battle broke out. In the firefight at hand, Murphy himself risked his life to make radio contact with his superiors to call for an evacuation. He was hit by bullets several times during the process and died shortly thereafter. A CH-47 Chinook appeared in the midst of the fighting, carrying 16 US soldiers bound for the rescue mission. But in a matter of seconds, an RPG (rocket propelled granade) was fired from the taliban side, hitting the the helicopter – whereas it crashlanded and killed everybody inside.

Three of the four team members were killed, and the only survivor, Corpsman (Medic) Marcus Luttrell, was left unconscious with a number of fractures and other serious wounds. He would soon regain consciousness and evade the pursuing enemy for a whole of three days in the mountains, with the help of local Pashtun villagers, who would eventually send an emissary to the nearest U.S. base to secure his safe release, and ultimately save his life. Marcus later wrote the bestselling book known as Lone Survivor, which takes the story above into account in much more detail.

In any case, the man known as Murphy was awarded, in his absence, the highest ranked medal in the US – The Medal of Honor – for his services in Afghanistan. Later on, the military has named about 2 or 3 places after him. But one of the biggest things between soldiers that he is remembered for down in Afghanistan to this day, is the Murph Challenge.

The “Murph” is a sort of a CrossFit session you can do. It’s a prestige to have done it at least once, and if you do it in less than 45 minutes, you gain a patch that says “MURPH”. It is said that Murphy did this sort of training once a week while he was in service. That’s way of the chart of being sane if you ask me.

Music is philosophy.

Music can really turn the tide of your emotional state of mind. If your sad, you can augment that feeling with any song that otherwise really touches your depressed side. The other way around, you may just put on ‘Hakuna Matata’ with Timon and Pumba from the Lion King and everything might feel quite good again. For me; It doesn’t really matter what mood I’m in post-listening. When the music starts and changes… My emotions starts to dance.

• Listening to melancholic music:

I woke up in the middle of the night, wet to the bones. The dream, affected by my body’s hightened temperature, was terrifying into the end. Betrayal, voices whispering, man-made cravings.. Destruction. Like emotional memories, it comes back to me.
I saw this coming. I share your dreams. How is it that we are intertwined but still so far apart from eachother?.. Or is it me? My dellusional selfishness that stands in the way – blocking the path like a proud and vicious lion. He gives promises of new perspectives of life and the glory that comes with it. He never mentioned you.
When he takes control, I can’t do anything but lean back and watch as my life unfolds infront of me in perculure ways.

• Listening to relaxed & meditative music:

In an instant, fear or anger is flushed out as contentment fills the cup of emotions. I no longer dwell in a realm of uncertainties and mixed emotions. I am one and I am in control of every choice I would choose to execute with absolute devotion.
Only one thing remains the same – I am one, but I am alone. Alone to ponder the questions the universe throws at the gates of my kingdom. Alone to fight against the dragons I so much admire and respect. Alone to face my true self. Alone with you.

• Listening to cosy & loving music:

One second passes and my mind gets filled with memories, feelings and smiles. An familiar warmth sneaks into my chest as I recall endless breakfast feasts and playful hide n´seek between sheets. I no longer linger in limbo. Feelings cloud my judgement but I don’t really care anymore. The only thing that I need is your loving smile, a confirmation that everything is as good as it can be. This is our world. Our time.
I picture myself as one of the most beautiful things – A loving father. Beside You. Nothing else matters. I put you and your needs before myself and nothing can hurt me. Because I love you, unconditionally, now and forever.

The might and power of feelings combined with music. A tool that people’s been using for ages in motivation for training, ceremonies, rituals and just for the fun of it. I can start my adrenaline with it, tears can be aquired and every sort of music is in the end, really f***** good. It’s quite magical if you give it a second thought. It also tells us how voulnerable we are to outer forces. How easy our minds and emotions are twisted and turned.

Dangerously lovely. A toast to music!

“The mind can go either direction under stress–toward positive or toward negative: on or off. Think of it as a spectrum whose extremes are unconsciousness at the negative end and hyperconsciousness at the positive end. The way the mind will lean under stress is strongly influenced by training.”

 – Jessica Atreides

A breaking of the sound barrier, a whistle through the air – right next to my head. After that came a deafening explosion, altough not anywhere near our location. Brothers screaming “TAKE COVER!” and “RPG!” simultaneously. We all took on the nearest cover. All our senses were brought to the highest alert, telling our bodies to kick-start the adrenaline rush for the sake of survival. All around me arrows fell, like death’s messengers, only to grin while they went passed our heads and bodies just to hit the wall behind us – a show of force, if anything. Then, our spirits caught fire and everything came into focus, and we answered the call by transforming ourselves into gods of war – unleashing furious waves of fire back at our advesaries location.

We tried to pin-point their location and concentrating fire without any real success. We had to gain the initiative.

 

I must admit it (without guilt or shame), the feeling was extraordinary. My belly was filled with a ball of calm that pulsated through my whole body. I looked at one comrade in cover and gave him a smile in the name of life. Everybody was more than alive and we were putting up a fight.

It comes a time when your get to a point of milliseconds, were you have to decide to act or react. I, as everybody else in my squad, took on the former. Acting on exactly what we’ve been trained for in years.

 

Anyhow, the initiative was not gained this time. Except for our sniper, most of our arrows never took ground beside the enemy. All the while, the mujaheddin started to aim even closer and better than initially, concentrating their hellfire with their PKM’s on our position – hammering our covers. We were pinned down. The order to fall back was screamed through our ranks, back into the nearby village and re-organize an attack on the “white hill” where we had spotted them. So we did. Falling back like we’ve done all years practicing on it. A well thrown smoke granade landed infront of our perimeter and gave us a smoke screen, and it began. Covering fire, holding brothers backs, running zic-zac and just doing it.

 

Hours later we came back, reinforced with attack helicopters and our numbers doubled. The insurgents fled and took a hiding in a mosque nearby. We took back ground, gaining initative and took control of the hill. Dark clouds drifted from the mountainhills in the east and Thor rode along with them, giving us spectacular scenes of lightning that danced in our winning favour. To Valhalla, my brothers..

Moments later, orders came to fall back to base. We knew we had them pinned down, but someone in the higher chain-of-command made a call.

In any case, the day ended well. Experience were drafted and none were wounded in the process. 

 

 

Why did I even bring this up? 

This is my version of the truth that you can read about here. This is one of the things I signed up for. One of the things that i’ve trained for. I’m not going to excuse myself for that. Someone could have died that day. That someone could have been me. A bullet entering the forehead and exiting the back of our neck in a bloody explosion – a hard truth of life.  

I’m not writing this so that I can gain some kind of respect or whatever. I’m writing this for my own sake, knowing that some people around me also tend to read my thoughts. I know many people tend to think the thoughts like – “Is he now damaged?”, “How could anyone put themselves in that position?” and/or “Is he really proud of trying to kill another human being in a seemingly pointless war?”.

No. I’m not proud of that.

I’m proud to say that I manage to do my work. My body listens to my will and I truly live life to it’s limits. That this work truthfully brings me closer to mankind. I’m proud of my brothers, whom stands with me in every possible weather or situation that comes before us.

In the end, i’m truthfully proud of you. Thank you for reading my thoughts.

 ´

Lance Corporal Fresh, at your service.

Me and my squad, having reached a mountaintop on a patrol in the Kunduz province.