I try my best. I push myself to the limit. My limit. At least that’s what I like to tell myself.

Sometimes I just… lose it. The feeling. The concentration. Life as a whole. I lose it. As I just lost it.

I clear it for a second. But almost instantly my mind fills up again with all sorts of stuff. Stuff that doesn’t really matter. Stuff that is of the yesterday, and stuff that resides in the future. Unable to concentrate on the task at hand. Have I always been like this? Will this be the cause of my ultimate fate? Fate as it is, shows me a path that I’ve been quite unaware of. A path that will take me to my dreams. The path won’t be easy and it won’t give me a easy time. I will not find peace here.. But on the other hand, my dreams never really gave me that impression. Peace comes afterwards I tell myself. The prize of immortality.

My limit must be broken, my old habits destroyed and the concentration of now must be amplified and achieved. I know I can do it. I also know that I really can mess it all up. But I will prevail myself. Otherwise it will all be for nothing.

“Never compromise. Not even in the face of Armageddon. That’s always been the difference between us…” 

– Walter Kovacs