I Want To Believe

Home is where the heart is, they say.

So where is my heart? Where is yours?

I have a clear memory when I was about nine years old. Me and my brother were inside his room in our family house out in the country. We were listening to music while building LEGO, and we could do just that for hours to come. Wordly problems were of no interest to me at the time. I corrected my glasses, picked up the toys and let my imagination totally dominate my mind. And even those moments when we or even just by myself, were playing video games in our “gaming room” is ultimately sacred to me in some way. I remember thinking of what I was to become when I became an adult. Always pondering if I could be one of those imaginable soldiers in the videogames or just and adventurer in the jungle. I even wanted to be an astronaut once before mathematics turned out to be one of my weak sides. Eventually I wanted to become an successful actor. In some ways, I’ve already achieved that goal.. In any case, I wanted to look back and not regretting anything and being proud of my choices.

Nowadays, I still do just that. Maybe in a different way than before, but still..

I still ponder the future. I still experience the childhood solace I once had nowadays when spending time with my family. I still look up to my parents and their (in my perspective) successful life, wondering if I ever am going to be in that position. I still let my imagination run amok while life passes by in front of my eyes. And it’s O.K.

Me and my family was immortal back then. And in some ways I reckon we still are.


Another memory stuck in my mind is one that I had in my brothers old apartment. We both sat there, one summer evening in the capital. The window was open and philosophy was filling the room. We talked a bit of the future, mentioned girls and how weird they can make you feel and think. In the end, I remember him saying: “I think we’re bound to something big”…

To this day, I’d like to I think we all are. As long as you still believe.

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