Absence of Order

I stand there and stare at people. People, that is of the same stardust that I am. They originate from the same decisive mating process in humans, as I do.

Even with this knowledge in my hand, I cannot percieve any resemblence between them and me.
Or maybe I am just like them? Crazy animals. Walking around in expensive shoes, photographing with devices they don’t even know how they work, laugh at things they so ignorant don’t even care about and most of them gives a rat damn about the very earth they are walking on. The only difference is that I, like many others, get the opportunity to observe the human animal through some sort of objective lens.

Once I notice this, I despite them, and in that process, I despite my very own self. I do not want to become like them. I don’t want that life.
So what the hell do I do?
I jack in. Become one of them once more, and don’t go where those previous thoughts grow.
I’m just a bit afraid  that they might take over when the time (time?) is right.

It’s all an illusion (my favourite word). A theater. A peacock play. And no one cares!?

Same goes with order. I try to see the order in things. I try to find order. But through all the mists that we build up, there is no symmetry. No universal order in what we do. I see only chaos incarnate.
Belief systems. Political games. Relationships. Military excercises. Cultural differences. Architecture. Hell, even in language itself..

Even in the tiniest most precious thing of us all – DNA – I can find an absence of order.
Altough in that case (or even in all cases), my knowledge and wisdom may be deeply flawed.

I know order exists. Math is the supposed proof of this, which can be found in nature all over our planet and the expanded universe..
What does that mean to us?

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