Brœðr muno beriaz
ok at bǫnom verða
muno systrungar
sifiom spilla.
Hart er í heimi,
hórdómr mikill
—vindǫld, vargǫld—
áðr verǫld steypiz.
Mun engi maðr
ǫðrom þyrma

Ibland får jag känslan av att saker jag nyligen läst om återkommer oftare och oftare därefter, nästan som om att “något” pekar en i den riktningen. Mer troligt är att vårat nyfunna intresse till något får oss att undermedvetet leta eller se dessa saker.

Har under de senaste åren uppmärksammat åtskilliga dokumentärer som bland annat upplyser oss om våran nedskräpning, uppvärmning och utfiskning av våran planet.

I somras skickade min far denna annorlunda, om än väldigt intressanta, artikel till mig:
War Is Coming
Tycker personligen att den onämnda skribenten av artikeln är “spot on” i många avseenden.

Därefter ramlade David Jonstads bok, Kollaps: Livet vid civilisationens slut, från 2012, ner på mitt bord i höstas.
För den som inte läst den rekommenderar jag den starkt. Han sammanfattning av historien och våran nuvarande sköra situation är helt klart en av de bästa hittills.

Då jag återkommande gånger nu tjänstgjort utomlands i u-länder samt gillar tanken av att vara en s.k. “prepper”, så uppmärksammar jag onekligen vissa av människans värsta sidor, och finner ett konstigt än dock djupt intresse i detta.
Speciellt i de länder vi ofta “glömmer” bort eller helt enkelt skiter i att räkna med när vi pratar om den “välfärd” som vi vill ska sprida sig över jordklotet utan större eftertanke på vilka resurser det verkligen skulle krävas…

Där säkras den faktiska, om än långsamma, undergången av den civilisation vi känner till idag.

> Hur kan den pågående välfärden, transhumanismen och (om vi nu hinner med) singulariteten möjligtvis lösa dessa problem?
> Finns det något annat sätt?

I mörkret ser jag en ljusglimt i samband med det nya året. En människas obevekliga tro på hopp. Om än är även denna väg färgad med mycket blod och död av den mänskliga populationen som vi envisas med att låta växa då barnadödlighet motverkas, kromosomfel accepteras fullt ut, alla ska ha sin egen avkomma och slutligen att all form av mänskligt liv förblir “heligt” i vårt starkt vinklade och instinktiva synsätt.
Alla ska med. We’re doomed.

Gott nytt år, bröder och systrar.

• “All that we are arises with our thoughts. The mind is everything; With our thoughts we make the world / create our reality. If the mind is clear, what ever we do or say the mind will bring happiness that will follow you like your shadow.”

• “All that we are arises with our thoughts. The mind is everything; With our thoughts we make the world / create our reality. If the mind is polluted, what ever we do or say leads to suffering which will follow you as a cart trails a horse.”

“chos rnams yid kyi rang bzhin te yid ni gtso zhing sngon la ‘gro”

I sit now and write you this letter
For I feel I deserved better
Is it that you couldn’t face the day
Is that why you throwed our life away

Our life had just begun
We were having so much fun
I told you I would never desert you
I told you I would not lie
All I asked is that you gave my love a real try

Curator now of broken hearts
Guardian of hopes lacking smarts
True lies sought for broken alibis
Pondered efforts the blind child cries

Sit now and try to read
In soil of love planted I the seed
Hollowed hearts now will bleed
Soul of a child no more I will feed
Words spoken now I heed
Blind leading the blind I will not lead
Sacrificed the day for all good deeds
lucid nights on waited needs

Weep no more my willow tree
Reckless decision made for you and thee
For you, all was not as it seemed
So goodbye to you the summer I had dreamed

Winter approaches with hurricanes thrust
Season gone without acquiring trust
Autumn looms with a chilling touch
Romance fades questioned too much

I will never know what I did wrong
All I did was sing you a love song

Could it be that I wasted the day
Did I throw my love away
A rift in time or a dimple
For now it all seems so simple

Vad är verklighet? Vad är fiktion?

Vad är fikon? Finns det ett samband? Ja, vi är alla fikon. Skrumpna små kärnor av skinn som försöker anpassa sig i en värld av tyngdkraft som hela tiden drar oss nedåt. Nedåt åt vad?
Nedåt åt begynnelsen, åt uppvaknandet. Åt naturen. Och vi stretar emot, varje sekund som går. Stunder av klarhet gör saken till en bagatell… För att sedan filtreras bort i en värld av.. Brus.

Vi är fast i bruset. Vi har blivit bekväma i det. Det finns till och med något som heter bekvämlighetsbrus:
“Bekvämlighetsbrus (eller bekvämlighetston) är ett artificiellt bakgrundsljud som används i radio– och trådlös kommunikation för att fylla i tystnaden”

Är jag fast?
Senaste tiden har mitt liv gått ut på att nå ett stadium av Hyper på dagen, för att klara av och orka med allt som skall göras, för att sedan dyka ner i ett stadium av Hypo, inför sömn och avslappning som ska ske på natten. I övrigt så har jag inte prioriterat natt sömn eller dylik återhämtning för min kropp.
Vad har detta för konsekvenser?
I slutändan så tror jag inte det är handlingarna i sig som kan medföra dålig karma, eller rättare sagt; en lidande livslust. Jag tror att det är fixeringen och tankarna som kan komma och fastna, som är risken med att man sover för lite samt ständigt utnyttjar yttre faktorer för att vara “pigg” eller “chilla”. I sin tur kommer detta påverka min relation till allting i livet.

Jag antar att det bara finns en lösning på det här just nu.

Vengeance Class Assault Frigate

Ordo was just about to start one of his daily meditations in his inner chamber, as the communication holoreel flickered to life and a holographic image of his superior, the Lord Admiral Lok’ri came to life.”Captain Ordo”, he stated calmly, as always.
“Admiral”, Ordo said, offering a bow with his head, still in his sitting position.
“The Minmatar has launched several assaults on imperial assets in the Bleak Lands this evening. The Empire needs the Praetoria. You are to transfer yourself to your combat clone in Mehatoor, and report to operations immediately.”
Ordo blinked and confirmed the admirals call and the holographic communication disconnected. He stood up and started walking out of his chamber, heading towards his own personal cloning facility.
As Ordo entered the facility, he made a nod towards one of his service men as he walked towards an metallic chair in the middle of the room. He sat down and leaned back and almost immediately felt a ‘synthetic snake’ in the form of a tube connecting to the capsuleer socket on his neck. Ordo closed his eyes and drifted away from the consciousness of this body…

•

Raphael willed his Vengeance class assault ship, TES Dark Sefrim, towards the incoming artillery fire that hammered his ship’s armor. His course changed and with a single thought, Raphael turned on his Micro Warp Drive, turning his ships velocity to almost 3000 meter/second. He was heading towards the Minmatar capsuleer. Fast.
Guiding his vessel in the wake of the Thrasher class destroyer, Raphael now orbited it up close, activating his rocket launchers on a whim. A wide grin emerged on his face as his camera drones captured the beautiful scenery of Minmatar rust being redefined to dust by the very blast and fires that his rockets delivered as they smashed the enemy ships hull.
The Thrasher was destroyed within minutes, and while the capsule of the pilot ejected and escaped unharmed, Raphael deemed himself victorious. The military complex was defended, and only a handful of enemy ships remained in their holy grasp.
As the last remnants of the heathens were swiftly destroyed, Raphael praised his fellow brothers and sisters on their achievement and continued his issued patrol, further leading a squad of Praetorians even deeper into enemy territory in the Bleak Lands…

•

Ordo opened his eyes.
His consciousness slowly coming back to him. Memories regained from his combat clone slowly took their place within his head, as he sat up straight in the metallic chair. He praised these memories even more than usual, as they should have inherited all the lessons he gained during his last mission in his other body.
Although Ordo trusted the technology he was using, he couldn’t help but to think that some fragments of his thoughts, his humanity and his very being – were stripped away every time he used the “Jump Clone” technology by changing his conciousness to another clone of his.
“These memories wasn’t experienced by this body”, he said to himself in his head, while staring on his hands.

Ordo came back from his deep thoughts as a one of his service men called on him, telling him he had another encrypted holographic transmission coming through.
He made himself stand up from his chair and walked out of the cloning facility, heading back towards his inner chamber.

Meditation by Goro79 on deviantART

I have satisfied an urge to become a monk. Although answers I sought has now been replaced by more questions.
Through short and intense training of the so called vipassanā meditation (vipassana meaning; insight into the true nature of reality) I now inhibit a new experience of introspection on mostly the physical level. I realized a very interesting phenomenon occuring in our human bodies, in an endless sort of ‘appearing and disappearing’ manner (destruction and creation?), in forms of energized tiny vibrations. My initial training in this technique resided around various buddhist teachings. More specifically, teachings that proclaimed itself being over 2500 years old, leading back to the time when Siddhartha Gautama, also known as the Buddha, re-discovered this technique (re-discovered, as they say. I wonder who, or what, discovered it before him).
I find myself, not disapproving their philosophy or theories, but a willingness inside me to broaden my perspective.

The ancient asian Qi principle has long been branded as mere “mythology” in modern times. I must say though, the thought of this “energy flow” is not so far away from my physical experience, thus my interest.

Qi flow through different meridians

While this can be a complete coincidence, I can imagine that the ancient people of asia that came up with this “theory” or “principle” of Qi, experienced something similiar as I have. How many other “energized”, “electric flows” through the body can we have?
If this is the case, and i’ve come across a physical sensation/stimuli that resembles the Qi, and in short, one of the inspirations of the so called The Force, featured in Star Wars… Then I’m even more satisfied.

In any case, an interesting thought around this is what this actually is – the feeling itself.
The possibility of it being a mere illusion is slim, very slim. Taking into account all the thousands of people that has ventured and done these courses in modern day society, and gotten the effect. Even on my course, I saw the most sceptical around at least getting these vibrations in his face.

The buddhist theory, which are a part of the vipassana teaching, is referring to that these vibrations and sensations are the late product of Kalapas. These kalapas can be described as the following:
“Kalapas (“particles of perception”), according to the Buddha, are the tiniest of particles which ultimately constitute mind and matter. Foreshadowing modern physics by two and a half millenia, they are said to arise and pass away trillions of times in the blink of an eye.”

While I haven’t found any real truth of this, one may take into account that modern science hasn’t really gotten that far in explaining the tiniest of particles just yet. Leaving this idea to be a mere theory of self-experience, as you are supposedly about to experience this as you reach nibbāna (nirvana), or the disintegration of the mind and body.

Nevertheless. Whatever these sensations, vibrations, indications and/or life force really is, the most important question may be; how does it really affect our daily lives and the way we think?
The buddhist philosophy talks of impurities that are getting abolished while practicising their method of observing these vibrations. There are several branches who practices to balance Qi, such as Qigong, but also Feng shui, certain martial arts.
Lastly, acupuncture, the use of needles to access different parts of the meridians and make Qi flow more easily in the body, has actually scientifically proven to be successful in treating various sicknesses and symptoms of pain.

I will meditate further, and dive into this sea of ‘awareness’.. That frankly doesn’t seem to have a straight answer to anything.

So it is time again, I tell myself. Time to head towards the unknown, but still known, and venture to a place I often look away from.

You asked me if I’m ready.
I am scared, to be honest. In a good way.

I am ready to dive into my own mind. Find it. Examine it. Observe it… And dwell there for a bit.
And yes, my love!
I am ready to set this all aside, and lean my head onto your beautiful bottom, kiss it, pillow it and fall asleep – and travel to the world of dreams, where we instantly create our everlasting, lost, vicious castles in our paradise together. I will see you there.

Our illusion of a new year is coming. It’s inbound. People will celebrate it. You, however, will only keep loving.  The love without boundries.
No words can describe how much I look forward in seeing you next year. When all our illusions are broken once more.

 “With me, illusions are bound to be shattered. I am here to shatter all illusions. Yes, it will irritate you, it will annoy you – that’s my way of functioning and working. I will sabotage you from your very roots! Unless you are totally destroyed as a mind, there is no hope for you.”
― Osho