Aug 18 2013



forbearing (comparative more forbearing, superlative most forbearing)

  1. Characterized by patience and indulgence; long-suffering: as, a forbearing temper.


Is it only my lack of patience that I should worry about? Or is it something else?

I almost laugh at the thought of it; being bested by an infant.
The perspective remains an interesting point.

I’ve always detested the idea of throwing myself into something so.. Dominating. But here I am. Unable to gather my thoughts and unable to grasp the reality that is at hand, meanwhile purely loving the situation and admiring the energy my partner of life shows and gives to her surroundings.
“Life is pain”, the Buddha said. “Life is suffering”.
Let us not forget these easy things. Remind them of your true self, they will.

So now it ends; The agreement. The mass driver. The suffering. The ponder. The insights. The fixation. The love. The monstrosity. The cage. The Freedom. The engagement. The peacefulness. The wartorned ideologies. The rampage. The everlasting bliss. The last breath…. And then it starts, again.

Aug 14 2013

Tribute 2

“If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever.”


  • The first truth is that life is suffering i.e., life includes pain, getting old, disease, and ultimately death. We also endure psychological suffering like loneliness frustration, fear, embarrassment, disappointment and anger. This is an irrefutable fact that cannot be denied. It is realistic rather than pessimistic because pessimism is expecting things to be bad.
  • The second truth is that suffering is caused by craving and aversion. We will suffer if we expect other people to conform to our expectation, if we want others to like us, if we do not get something we want,etc. In other words, getting what you want does not guarantee happiness. Rather than constantly struggling to get what you want, try to modify your wanting. Wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness.
  • The third truth is that suffering can be overcome and happiness can be attained; that true happiness and contentment are possible. lf we give up useless craving and learn to live each day at a time (not dwelling in the past or the imagined future) then we can become happy and free.


“A warrior does not give up what he loves, he finds the love in what he does”


Quotes by Dan Millman

Three of the four noble truths by Buddha

Picture by Alex Grey

Jun 17 2013



I’ve come to invest.

Invest is time. In money. In my life.

I do that inevitably and often; without manners, concentration or actual afterthought. It may hurt my body, but essentially rips apart my mind. The only real medication that can be done is to be there.


To be in that moment, one the ‘investment’ is about to take place. And what do I invest my time in? In a frickin’ video game? Or is it another virtual reality just as valid as this one?

What to I want to invest my time in? In my coming about family? In my work or studies? In my body? In my ideas and ideologic hopes? In a consumer product? In a new car or even a new house to “build something” upon.


Nevertheless, I put on my glasses, listens to BoC, and invest time to write this shit.

But then again, why not invest in everything at once? I guess the outcome of it helps us define ourselves in the abstract world that exists today – I ‘helps’ us. In the end, we can say either; “I’m a carpenter”, “I run a consumer company”, “I’m a musician”, “I just sit around meditating all day” or “I’m the super-volatile dangerous guild warleader of a W0W epic-nerd guild of doom”… So..

It’s all about the investments, right? Become invested. Be the investation. Make investments.

Jun 2 2013


Why do I find myself uncomfortable in the digital presence of my kindred?
Facebook, and any other social media that tries to create an image of ourselves, where we can represent who we are, is meaning so much for humans these days. At the same time, it creates a very special room inside us, for the demon of self-hatred. And through him, we are killing ourselves, inside out.

The lack of comfort reaches it’s peak when I can’t manage to understand or comprehend the notions or actual ideas of life, that people want to portray. This creates a vacant spot in my mind.
A place where no logic is allowed. A place where one can destroy them all. A place, a kingdom, where insanity, madness and craziness rules as a triumvirate.

Why did YOU let you guard down for this? Why do WE accept this sovereign with open arms? Why do I keep letting it happen?

By definition, and by initiative, I hereby renounce my heritage to mankind. As I’ve done, a trillion times before…

“One person’s craziness is another person’s reality.” 
― Tim Burton

Feb 9 2013

Counter Strike

Back and forth.

Up and down.

Slow and fast.

Big and small.

Jin and yang.

Minor and major.

Happy and depressed.

Fire and ice.

Chaos and peace.

Rage and love.

Fat and thin.

Intelligent and dumb.

Ambitious and slack.


Balance within the unbalanced.

Jan 29 2013


  1. The action of being rescued or set free: “prayers for deliverance”.
  2. A formal or authoritative utterance.
release – rescue – liberation – riddance – relief


Discipline through structure. Chinese body art, literally. My days are dominated by it.
Endless possibilities within my grasp. An oasis extracted from our dreams in the palm of my hand.

Yet, I do not take it. I cannot grasp it.The abstract essence of life never takes it’s eyes of me. There is no wonder I can not concentrate.

I just… lose it.

Shall I simply accept it?

Acceptance of what exactly? Acceptance of my own illusionary idea of self-reliance? Acceptance of my misjudged way of life? Acceptance that we are all one and there’s no such thing as death? I could laugh myself to death.

A lunatic’s laugh. Deliverance through madness. Insanity incarnate.
In the wake of an anger that I cannot control.
Oh, God, is this thine path?

Jan 2 2013

The Second of The First

Is there a chaos that lingers within? An anger that is defined by humanity’s most eagered monstrosity? A self-proclaimed darkness that in the end makes us hunt ourselves?

Undoubtly, Yes.
But it’s mine! And I flourish in my illusion that I can control it, mold it to my will and lastly keep it caged when I don’t want it expressed. May it be a false hope of control. In that case I let it control me, as long as it gives more than it takes..

A new year celebration has been experienced. 2013 has begun it’s reign in the western civilization backed up by the current Gregorian calendar. Many eastern countries celebrate the year 2556 according to the Buddhist era. Islamic countries and muslims celebrate the year 1435 based on their prophet Muhammed. The jews celebrate the year 5773 in autumn, referring to the 7-day creation of the world.The list goes on…
What can be drawn from this is that we still like to insert tradition into our lives and create days, periods or whatever things in our lives that ends up being – special. It is somewhere important to us, having these celebrations spread across the year. The ancient Mayan civilization made no exception to that when they created their (“doomsday”) calendar.

Myself, I like to think that I do not put energy into days that has no astronomical meaning to the world. I have often pointed out my eagerness of not implimenting these various traditions (of all kinds) into my life. Somewhere, I feel positive that we can survive better without them. Like, for example, christmas eve – that has become something else than a celebration – more of the standing visualized obelisk that represent consumerism in everyway.
But as time and years go by, I may have to alter that idea a bit. At least, mold it a bit according to modern day life.
Humans still need their “special” days, holidays and celebration. In that we ultimately celebrate life and learn to appreciate things that are not in our everyday life. People make resolutions or promises, like on this new year, to alter their life in some positive way.
Even though these ideas and “promises” to oneself may never really become what you initially think. They create hope. And hope.. Is best defined in a good way by “The Architect” from the Matrix movie:

Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness.

The new year does give me ideas of significance and hope. Altough I do not cherish in having any expectations. Not on myself, not on anyone else. With that also comes the product of true love. Passion for what I do, and passion for the things I really care about.
Passion for the woman I truly love, and deep passion that I bless myself having for the new life that grows inside of her.

Hence, I welcome the new year and what it brings with it. A new moment in time.
Frikkin’ beautiful in every way.

Dec 29 2012

The Visuals Tells The Story

Awake In a Silver Land

Awake In a Silver Land

Between The Teardrops by parablev

Between The Teardrops

Discovery so clear

Discovery So Clear

Cage by parablev


Just One Wish Away

Just One Wish Away

The neverending dreamer

The Neverending Dreamer