Aug 14 2013

Tribute 2

“If you don’t get what you want, you suffer; if you get what you don’t want, you suffer; even when you get exactly what you want, you still suffer because you can’t hold on to it forever.”


  • The first truth is that life is suffering i.e., life includes pain, getting old, disease, and ultimately death. We also endure psychological suffering like loneliness frustration, fear, embarrassment, disappointment and anger. This is an irrefutable fact that cannot be denied. It is realistic rather than pessimistic because pessimism is expecting things to be bad.
  • The second truth is that suffering is caused by craving and aversion. We will suffer if we expect other people to conform to our expectation, if we want others to like us, if we do not get something we want,etc. In other words, getting what you want does not guarantee happiness. Rather than constantly struggling to get what you want, try to modify your wanting. Wanting deprives us of contentment and happiness.
  • The third truth is that suffering can be overcome and happiness can be attained; that true happiness and contentment are possible. lf we give up useless craving and learn to live each day at a time (not dwelling in the past or the imagined future) then we can become happy and free.


“A warrior does not give up what he loves, he finds the love in what he does”


Quotes by Dan Millman

Three of the four noble truths by Buddha

Picture by Alex Grey

Jun 9 2013

Tomorrow’s Harvest

Boards of Canada – Reach for the Dead

May 1 2013

Transcendent Transparent Tranquility

Sometimes life just hooks you up. Things gets into motion and people start talking. Heat builds up and counter the cold motionless peace.
While I welcome it,  I also love the tranquility of stillness.

“Life” will continue to show me the way, as it has been doing for a long time now. I realize what needs to be realized. Things that needs to be done. Things that needs to change. The constant change of the things we know. The continuum of birth, growth and eventually death. I would be naive to think that our death’s are lesser than the death of a star. We are the children of the stars. No more, no less.

For me, there isn’t two things any longer. There is one. One reality. One persona. One life. One, here and now.


Feb 16 2013

Absence of Order

I stand there and stare at people. People, that is of the same stardust that I am. They originate from the same decisive mating process in humans, as I do.

Even with this knowledge in my hand, I cannot percieve any resemblence between them and me.
Or maybe I am just like them? Crazy animals. Walking around in expensive shoes, photographing with devices they don’t even know how they work, laugh at things they so ignorant don’t even care about and most of them gives a rat damn about the very earth they are walking on. The only difference is that I, like many others, get the opportunity to observe the human animal through some sort of objective lens.

Once I notice this, I despite them, and in that process, I despite my very own self. I do not want to become like them. I don’t want that life.
So what the hell do I do?
I jack in. Become one of them once more, and don’t go where those previous thoughts grow.
I’m just a bit afraid  that they might take over when the time (time?) is right.

It’s all an illusion (my favourite word). A theater. A peacock play. And no one cares!?

Same goes with order. I try to see the order in things. I try to find order. But through all the mists that we build up, there is no symmetry. No universal order in what we do. I see only chaos incarnate.
Belief systems. Political games. Relationships. Military excercises. Cultural differences. Architecture. Hell, even in language itself..

Even in the tiniest most precious thing of us all – DNA – I can find an absence of order.
Altough in that case (or even in all cases), my knowledge and wisdom may be deeply flawed.

I know order exists. Math is the supposed proof of this, which can be found in nature all over our planet and the expanded universe..
What does that mean to us?

Feb 12 2013

Guarding Time

Time bending. Time teleporation. Time expanding. Time flowing. Time stopping.

At this moment, in time, there is a lot of suffering in the domain of time. “Time flies” as they say. But there is a lot of sayings about time, without anyone really knowing what time is.
I, for one, does not understand it. Nor do I think I will ever come to such understanding. What I do know is that I have to accept it.

Conventionally, time is divided into three distinct regions; the “past”, the “present”, and the “future”. Based on our categories and understandings in the same order; “memories”, “perception”, and “expectations”. That is our human way of describing time at this hour.
Still, I cannot discard the thought of it being an illusion of sorts. Several philosophers, including Anthipon and Parmenides, went further, maintaining that time, motion, and change were illusions. The buddhist also share this idea of thought. This thought spiral leads to a lot of paradoxes and may never hit the thinker with a clear and transparent answer though.

“Time is not an empirical concept. For neither co-existence nor succession would be perceived by us, if the representation of time did not exist as a foundation a priori. Without this presupposition we could not represent to ourselves that things exist together at one and the same time, or at different times, that is, contemporaneously, or in succession.”

Furthermore, I can see an end to my time as a soldier. A concept i’ve held onto. An ideal I still admire and salute to.
My current progress towards this end is less romantic than one would imagine. A royal guard. Castle guard. The King’s (or Emperor’s) personal guard. I will guard with honour and with my life. I create all these illusions to enhance my own moral. So, in truth, to remain sane, I do imagine myself being one of the following, with the following oath of course:
Royal Gurad Oath

Royal Gurad Oath

Imperial Royal Guard

Imperial Royal Guard – Emperor’s Chosen

Samurai Imperial Guard

Samurai Imperial Guard




Amarr Victor.

Feb 9 2013

Counter Strike

Back and forth.

Up and down.

Slow and fast.

Big and small.

Jin and yang.

Minor and major.

Happy and depressed.

Fire and ice.

Chaos and peace.

Rage and love.

Fat and thin.

Intelligent and dumb.

Ambitious and slack.


Balance within the unbalanced.

Jan 8 2013


The rear falls down. The ground levels up. The tides draw back, as the one beneath hurls itself up the sky.

The roaming won’t stop. A scream combined maps the glory. The suffering will not end, if you don’t care.

The rain fills the cup. A sign of reverence. A message of selfish astronomy, opening the door to hell itself.

The sea serpents warcries echoes. An ocean floor is dried. Marching to the second heartbeat, with heads drawn back.

Defined, we march onwards towards the gaping maw of doom. Freed, one loose oneself within a second. Reckless, I celebrate the forever reclaimed.

Massacres. Death by deathcoat. Clearly signless. Pointlessness within comprehension.
The road to equilibrium, is there.

Jan 2 2013

The Second of The First

Is there a chaos that lingers within? An anger that is defined by humanity’s most eagered monstrosity? A self-proclaimed darkness that in the end makes us hunt ourselves?

Undoubtly, Yes.
But it’s mine! And I flourish in my illusion that I can control it, mold it to my will and lastly keep it caged when I don’t want it expressed. May it be a false hope of control. In that case I let it control me, as long as it gives more than it takes..

A new year celebration has been experienced. 2013 has begun it’s reign in the western civilization backed up by the current Gregorian calendar. Many eastern countries celebrate the year 2556 according to the Buddhist era. Islamic countries and muslims celebrate the year 1435 based on their prophet Muhammed. The jews celebrate the year 5773 in autumn, referring to the 7-day creation of the world.The list goes on…
What can be drawn from this is that we still like to insert tradition into our lives and create days, periods or whatever things in our lives that ends up being – special. It is somewhere important to us, having these celebrations spread across the year. The ancient Mayan civilization made no exception to that when they created their (“doomsday”) calendar.

Myself, I like to think that I do not put energy into days that has no astronomical meaning to the world. I have often pointed out my eagerness of not implimenting these various traditions (of all kinds) into my life. Somewhere, I feel positive that we can survive better without them. Like, for example, christmas eve – that has become something else than a celebration – more of the standing visualized obelisk that represent consumerism in everyway.
But as time and years go by, I may have to alter that idea a bit. At least, mold it a bit according to modern day life.
Humans still need their “special” days, holidays and celebration. In that we ultimately celebrate life and learn to appreciate things that are not in our everyday life. People make resolutions or promises, like on this new year, to alter their life in some positive way.
Even though these ideas and “promises” to oneself may never really become what you initially think. They create hope. And hope.. Is best defined in a good way by “The Architect” from the Matrix movie:

Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness.

The new year does give me ideas of significance and hope. Altough I do not cherish in having any expectations. Not on myself, not on anyone else. With that also comes the product of true love. Passion for what I do, and passion for the things I really care about.
Passion for the woman I truly love, and deep passion that I bless myself having for the new life that grows inside of her.

Hence, I welcome the new year and what it brings with it. A new moment in time.
Frikkin’ beautiful in every way.